Mario Scenes Gone Wrong: REBOOT
by iSqueakers
Summary: A reboot of my original MSGW story! Do you really think the "filming" of the Mario games went perfectly? Well, you thought wrong! Contains flops and bloopers that are either funny, or just plain stupid. You decide! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THESE GAMES. A bit AU!
1. Episode 1: SMB and Lost Levels

**A/N: So, welcome to my rebooted MSGW! With my last one having over 50,000 views, dozens of favorites and hundreds of reviews, I'm curious on how this one will fare. For this chapter and a few others, you'll probably wonder what changed from my last story. This chapter's extremely close to the first chapter of my other story, but after then it'll branch from what it used to be. Don't worry, I'm not deleting the other, but I don't feel like I should continue that one with the mistakes I've noticed in there.**

**Other than two special episodes (which will be Episodes 2 and 3) this story will go through games released chronologically starting with Super Mario Bros. I don't really care for Donkey Kong or Mario Bros., so I'm skipping those, and I won't care for re-releases either. Right now, I'm planning on weekly Monday updates (which was what I used to do; we all need crackfics on Mondays now!) but I may slack off every now and then.**

**Without further ado, let's continue**!

* * *

In a studio far, far away, Mario, Luigi and Peach sit atop a stage before a clapping audience. As the audience settles down, Mario smiles before speaking.

"Welcome to Mario Scenes Gone Wrong!" Mario welcomed, "Where we keep all the flops for every game we were in. They're not funny at all, but some are just stupid enough to make some of us laugh."

"They feature Mario, not me. I'm perfect," Luigi boasted.

"Shut up and get this show on the roll," Peach rushed.

"Okay okay! Geez, feisty mama," Mario stated in a tone as if he is offended, "Let's see the first clip."

Super Mario Brothers

Mario and Luigi are running at the beginning of World 1-1. Seeing the three ? blocks, Luigi suddenly stops Mario.

"Bro! What do those brick block things do?"

"Well, Luigi, they give you super powers, coins, various things. Try hitting one."

Luigi taps it, but nothing works.

"Huh?"

"No, like this Luigi…"

Mario jumps and hits the block with both his head and his hand.

"Try it, Luigi," Mario told his younger brother.

Luigi tries to copy Mario, but only uses his head. He's instantly knocked out.

"Oh boy…"

"CUT!" the director called out.

* * *

"Okay, that one was NOT FUNNY. What the hey is it doing here?" Luigi asked in curiosity.

"Who says they are supposed to be funny? Plus, what happened to you being perfect?" Mario shrugged, "Next clip please."

Super Mario Brothers

Mario cruises through the 8-4 castle, avoiding the giant fireball stick, fireballs springing out of lava, and fireballs spat out by Bowser. A ton of fireball-avoiding, basically. After figuring out some giant maze, he finally sees Bowser.

Bowser, at first glance at Mario, instantly throws mallets at him. Bowser then suddenly jumps, and swings the axe, breaking the bridge with Mario on it. Mario then plummets into the lava, defeated.

"MARIO!" Peach cried in defeat.

"You can quit the charade; he's gone," Bowser informed.

"Oh, Bowser, I love you," Peach cooed.

"CUT!"

* * *

"W-what? Peach loves BOWSER more than ME?"

"What the? That was in our script. Why would I love some giant dragon thingy with a shell?" Peach questioned.

"Whatever, pipe it down," Mario commanded.

Luigi shook his head, "Next clip!"

Super Mario Brothers: Lost levels

The Mario Brothers are in world 1-1 again. Luigi, actually knowing how to bash a block correctly, bashes a block containing a purple poisonous mushroom.

"Oooh, purple mushroom!" Mario called out.

"NO Mario, DO NOT grab that!"

"Purple good, purple healthy," Mario declared.

Mario eats the purple mushroom. He's immediately knocked out.

"CUT!"

* * *

"That didn't happen, I know the difference between mushrooms!" Mario raged.

"Liar! The clip proves it was you," Luigi rebutted.

"Maybe it was you dressed up as me, and someone else dressed up as you?" Mario suggested.

"Why would you think that?" Luigi questioned.

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BASH A BLOCK WITHOUT GETTING KNOCKED OUT!"

"And you can't grab the proper mushroom either, Mario," Luigi shrugged, "Next clip!"

Super Mario Brothers: Lost Levels

The Mario Brothers run in yet another 8-world marathon to save Princess Peach. They have just beaten castle 3-4, expecting Peach to be behind there. Instead they find three toads.

"THREE TOADS?" Mario screamed, "Where the heck is the princess? SHOW ME A SHORTCUT!"

Mario, instead of going to level 4-1, goes home and watches television, essentially giving up on his journey.

"Redbull gives you wings!" a TV commercial broadcasted.

"That's how I can get to 8-4 faster!" Mario cheered.

Mario goes to the store and steals a redbull.

"Don't worry, cashier! Heroes discount: 100 percent!"

Mario is chased by Toad cops, but he drinks the red bull, sprouts wings, and flies to 8-4, straight to Bowser, and grabs Peach. He accidently lets go of Peach while he's in the sky flying back, and Peach is seen falling for miles.

"Uhh.. Oops."

"CUT! "

* * *

"No lie, that one was fun!" Mario cheered, "Oh, no one was seriously hurt during the making of that clip."

Peach frowns, "Except for me. I suffered a concussion, two broken arms and a broken leg."

"Did I ask you to speak?" Mario glared, "Anyway, as I was saying, no one was seriously hurt (meaning death) during the making of this clip. Please don't sue."

As Peach's face turns red in anger, Luigi rushes, "All right, last clip!"

Super Mario Brothers: Lost Levels

The Mario Brothers are at the beginning of World 4-1.

"Whoa, Mario, did you see those little crocodile things in the warp pipes are now red, and no longer green? And they are faster too!" Luigi pointed out.

"Crocodile things?" Mario questioned, "Those are freaking PIRANHA PLANTS."

"Do they bite?"

"No, they're completely harmless. Try for yourself," Mario groaned.

Luigi sits on a warp pipe that contains a red piranha plant. The plant zooms out, grabs a hold of Luigi, and tries to drag him down its pipe. Fortunately, Luigi gets stuck in the pipe on the way down.

"Oh dang! I'm coming Luigi!" Mario shouted.

Mario pulls Luigi to safety, uprooting the piranha plant in the process.

"You lied to me, Mario!"

"I didn't know you were stupid enough to even attempt that!" Mario rolled his eyes, "It was sarcasm!"

Mario and Luigi looked at each other.

"Only way to solve an argument."

Both Luigi and Mario pull out a fire flower and activate the power. They then get in a girly cat fight.

"CUT!"

* * *

"I had to admit, that one was fun," Mario confessed.

"Except for me getting dragged down the dang tube!"

"No, that was what made it the fun part, Luigi."

"Grr.. MARIO!" Luigi shouted before chasing Mario. Meanwhile, Peach sighs.

"Whatever. Come back again, for when they show you-"

Before Peach can finish her epilogue for the ending episode, Bowser breaks into the studio with his Klown Khopper and snatches both Mario and Luigi, along with all but one of the television cameras.

"Bwahahahahaha! I finally got my enemies in my grasp!" Bowser roared.

"Bowser, put them down!" Peach commanded as she glares at her nemesis.

"Never! You'll have to save them yourself! Since you can't even save yourself, I really doubt you will! Goodbye Peach!"

Bowser then flies away in the sky towards his castle, leaving Peach alone. She initially stares at the sky in shock before cracking her knuckles.

"I will show him!" She declared before staring into the last functioning camera, "Anyway, join us for the special episode, the video clips being completely live, next time! The one and only SUPER PRINCESSS PEACH!

Peach grabs her umbrella, Perry, before she runs outside as the scene fades into blackness.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Peach, and Toad are owned by the one and only Nintendo.**

**I also do not own Redbull.**

**So don't sue me, lawyers!**


	2. Episode 2 SPECIAL: Super Princess Peach

The scene opens, but instead of the familiar, peaceful setting of inside a studio, the cameras broadcast Bowser's throne room, with Bowser sitting on this throne, Bowser Junior in his lap and five of the Koopalings sitting in miniature thrones.

A piano stands by Bowser's throne, the keys facing away from the camera. Ludwig sits on a piano bench, playing an introductory scene to the show. He continues until Bowser waves him to stop.

"Quit the music," the king demanded, "Anyway, welcome all my victims- I mean viewers! Hahahahahaha. Anyway, I'm sorry to say that Mario and Luigi aren't available to host this episode."

The television screen shows a five second picture of Mario and Luigi in a custodian closet, gagged and tied in ropes.

"So yeah... Rough night for them," Bowser commented, "Oh yeah, and Peach also isn't available."

The camera cuts to a scene of Peach, occurring just outside of her castle.

* * *

Peach rushes away from Peach's Castle, except this is not her regular castle seen in Super Mario 64, but one on a strange, isolated isle. Noticing she's forgetting something, she rushes back, eventually coming out with an umbrella.

* * *

"So yeah, none of the three are available, so… They asked me to host this episode," Bowser shrugged.

Roy groans, "Did you NOT see dat King Dad? She's freakin' COMING AFTER US!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, son," Bowser cut off.

Iggy suddenly rushes into the room, looking disappointed.

"DAD! I found no tapes!" Iggy cried.

"Grat!" Bowser groaned.

Bowser rubs his chin like he always does when he thinks hard.

"Here, I'll sing our new theme song while you think!" Wendy offered before she looks at Ludwig and nods. The eldest koopaling then plays a series of notes on the piano before Wendy starts singing.

Dalalala Dalalala Dalalala DalalaLA

**Wendy:** Oh the Mario games are amazing!

But some of the cut clips are crazy!

Who would have thought

Those clips we forgot

Will someday come to useeeeeeee!

OH YEAH!

**All:** MARIO SCENES GONE WRONG!

**Wendy:** The show that shows bloopers, cuts and many flops!

**All:** OH, MARIO SCENES GONE WRONG!

**Ludwig:** Mario Scenes Gone Vrong!

**All:** NO! IT'S 'WRONG,' LUDWIG!

**Ludwig:** Geez, my accent's nothing big!

Dalalala Dalalala Dalalala DalalaLA

**Wendy:** YEAH!

**All:** YEAH!

**Wendy:** Alright yall!

**All:** Alright!

**Wendy:** Let's do a roll call!

Bowser! (The King is here!)

Ludwig! (I'm at ze piano!)

Lemmy! (Weehee! I'm here!)

Roy! (Yeah yeah.)

Iggy! (Present!)

Larry! (Hang on! Watering my plants!)

**Morton:** Hey! Where's my name-

**Wendy:** And I'm Wendy, your homegirl, singing this song!

**All but Morton:** YEAH! OH! THIS IS MARIO SCENES GONEE WRONGGG! GONE WRONG!

"Guys! I'm here!" Morton moaned.

"Any plans yet, Daddy?" Wendy questioned, apparently ignoring her younger brother.

Bowser continues rubbing his chin before smirking, "I got it! LAKITUS! Take the TV cameras to Vibe Island and follow Peach!"

* * *

Super Princess Peach

Peach rushes across the area around Peach's castle, eventually reaching some plains. She sings as she walks, enjoying the outdoors. This is when her umbrella decides to act weird.

"La de da da la-"

"You are correct!" the umbrella declared, "This area is the Ladida Plains!"

"What the?" Peach gasped, "You talk!"

"No, some random words are heard, far out in the distance…"

"But you don't have a mouth!" Peach rejected.

The umbrella suddenly sprouts a mouth.

"Wanna say that again? If you do, you'll go inside my FACE CAVE."

"Okay, geez, sorry, umbrella."

"Please call you Perry," the umbrella requested, "I'll help you out in your journey by eating stuff on the way."

"Umm, Perry, how does that benefeit me?"

"You'll see, woman. Walk faster, I'm getting sweaty!" Perry commanded.

Peach sighs, "Grrrreat, strange umbrella."

Peach keeps walking, meeting a field of flowers as an unknown Lakitu secretly stalks her with a camera.

* * *

"Isn't it wrong to stalk people, King Dad?" Larry asked, "Cus you say that to me all the time!"

"It's not stalking. It's 'Intensive Research done on a person.'" Bowser declared.

"And vhy are you conducting such research on ze Princess? She is not ze next scientific wonder!" Ludwig questioned.

"Not everything in the world needs science as its explanation," Bowser rebutted, "Sit and be quiet at your piano, hairball."

Ludwig grumbles, but doesn't say anything.

Bowser grins, "Plus, she'll be your next step-mother!"

The Koopalings instantly laugh, not believing that for even a second.

Clawdia suddenly walks into the throne room.

"I HEARD THAT, BOWSY!" Clawdia screeched.

"Oh my gosh, Clawdia, get out! We're on live television! LEAVE WOMAN."

"You been hiding me for too long. Just for that, the world can get THIS!"

Clawdia models in front of the cameras, taking little steps in her red high heels, matching her now-dyed rainbow-pink hair. She gives one of the cameras, which gives the side views of the group, a kiss on the lens, and begins to hug it. The camera breaks in her arms, and glass shards entered her scales everywhere in her arms and chest. Clawdia runs out the room, screaming and crying for Kamek.

Bowser groaned, "Idiot. Anyway, where were we before that event?"

* * *

Peach is in a frigid place. This must be Gleam Glacier, world 6. She suddenly begins slipping and sliding everywhere. At one point she even almost did the splitz!

"Now, Princess, be confident! Use the ice to your advantage! You can go so much faster!" Perry stated.

"Well... Okay..."

Peach slides on the ice again, this time being confident.

"EEEEEK! THIS IS FUN!"

Peach eventually encounters an enemy. Losing control, she bumps into it.

"OUCH!" Peach shrieked.

"Peach, throw me at the enemy!" Perry suggested.

Peach, unknowing what he means, throws her umbrella accomplice at the enemy. Perry immediately eats them.

"Where do the enemies go after you eat them?" Peach questioned.

"IT'S A VIDEO GAME! QUIT WORRYING!"

"But-" Peach objected as a meteor crashes to the ground in the background.

"YOU HUMANS!" Perry screamed, "YOU ALWAYS QUESTION THE IMPOSSIBLE! Enjoy yourself for once and QUIT THINKING REALISTICALLY 24/7!"

Peach, shocked by the answer, keeps sliding until she reaches the ice boss. Peach looks at the boss and immediately laughs.

"A TINY FLYING THING AS A BOSS? HAHAHAHA!" Peach laughed.

Suddenly, the 'tiny flying thing' turns into A HUGE DRAGON!

"Call me Blizzaurus! You will get your butt kicked woman!" the dragon said.

"Pfft, whatever, giant thing. Get out of my way or my umbrella will eat you!"

"Pfft, that thing with a tiny mouth? My mouth is bigger!" Blizzaurus smirked.

"Because you can never SHUT UP!" Peach yelled.

Blizzaurus roars at Peach, "Excuse me, little pink damsel? Want to take that back or do you want to experience my FACE CAVE?"

"Too late; that description has already been used," Peach informed, "Maybe you can be a hipster if you're not the WORLD 6 BOSS."

"Really? WELL, I START FADS HERE!"

"Pfft, whatever, drama queen. Get out of my way."

"You're such a weak $&&%$#!"

Peach, hearing those words, suddenly grew angry, fire engulfing her everywhere. The ice boss immediately starts freaking out.

"Okay! Okay! Quit it! You're melting my beautiful complexity!" Blizzaurus cried.

"What beautiful complexity?"

"DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE OR NOT? GET OUT!"

Peach, after calming down, runs away, continuing her trip to the castle.

* * *

"Oh my gosh, dad! She's coming for us!" Morton stated.

"Huh. Wonder where she's going," Bowser shrugged.

"I TOLD YOU!" Morton screeched, "SHE'S COMING FOR US!"

"I'm not sure, Dad," Iggy admitted.

"GUYS! LISTEN TO ME!" Morton shouted, causing each of the remaining koopas to perk up.

"Did you guys hear something?" Bowser questioned.

"Yup. Sounds like something I wanna punch," Roy growled.

"Sounds like the torture chamber," Larry shivered, "But let's keep watching Peach."

"SHE'S COMING FOR US!" Morton repeated, "STOP IGNORING ME! I READ IT IN THE SCRIPT! AND ROY! LARRY! I HEARD THAT!"

"Guys... Something's telling me that Peach is coming to us," Wendy admitted.

"ABOUT TIME!" Morton yelled.

"Don't worry, Wendy. She will go nowhere close to us," Bowser comforted.

"Dad, she's in world six…" Wendy groaned.

"So? I bet she can't continue onto world seven, or my world, because she can hardly defend herself," Bowser rebutted.

"I trust my dear sister's intuition, Fazzer," Ludwig admitted.

Ludwig plays music after his sentence.

"Follow your heart! Your intuition! It vill lead you, in ze right direction!" Ludwig sang.

Bowser immediately tells Ludwig to shut up.

"Anyway, back to doing 'Intensive Research' on Peach," Bowser redirected.

"You mean stal-" Lemmy corrected.

"SHUT IT!"

* * *

Peach is now seen in world 8-

* * *

The Koopalings immediately got up and started screaming.

"DADDY! I DON'T WANNA DIE! HELP ME!" Junior cried.

"EVERYONE! CALM DOWN AND SIT DOWN! You're all taking this too dramatically!"

"Not our faults our lives actually mean something to us, Daddy!" Wendy stated.

"So true!" Larry shook his head.

"SEE? I TOLD YOU IDIOTS!" Morton shouted before lowering his voice, "What's the use of trying? This hate-filled author prevents me from speaking."

Bowser sighs, "Whatever, let's finish that clip."

* * *

Peach is now seen in world 8, with her carrying Perry over her shoulder.

"Oww, your shoulder's digging into my nose," Perry groaned.

"Since when did you have a nose?"

"SHH!" Perry commanded.

"Or what? I can throw you in a fire," Peach challenged.

Perry immediately begins to get mad, and opens his mouth up WIDE. He tries to swallow Peach whole! Luckily, Peach holds out her arm far away, preventing Perry from eating her.

The Lakitu filming her laughed hard, immediately covering his mouth.

But too late; Peach saw him. She throws Perry at the filming Lakitu, with Perry swallowing him whole.

"Someone is filming us!" Peach declared, "And I think I know who!"

* * *

"RATS! She found us!" Bowser said, startled.

The Koopalings, except for Morton, immediately started running everywhere, with Ludwig banging on the piano keyboard and playing creepy music. This hectic activity continues for half a minute. Meanwhile, Morton rolls his eyes at their actions.

"And she'll be here anytime so-" Iggy stated.

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN: SHE'S NOT HERE YET-" Bowser shouted.

Alarms begin blaring everywhere, as an image of Peach is shown on the intruder screen.

Bowser stares wide-eyed at the alarms, "…Alright, guys, proceed!"

Everyone, including Bowser, begins running everywhere and screaming, while Ludwig continues sitting at the piano, banging his fists on the keyboard.

* * *

Peach hears a loud piano and several screams upstairs. With no guards seen in the castle, she rushes to that room and busts the door down.

"ALRIGHT! WHERE IS MARIO AND LUIGI?" Peach commanded.

"In that… Custodian closet! Let me get them!" Bowser stuttered.

Bowser rushes down the hallway. A few minutes later, he comes out with a tied-up Mario and Luigi.

"How dare you steal our show, Bowser!" Mario glared.

"Yeah! We're the hosts!" Luigi continued.

Bowser sighed, "And that is why I stole your show."

"Umm, what?" Mario, Luigi and Peach all questioned.

"Yes!" Bowser repeated, "I have the reputation here as being a feared and scary ruler! I wanted to change that by showing my more innocent side, and showing that people can indeed like me! I can be nice! Please, Mario, Luigi and Peach, can my children and I help you with your show? Please!

Mario, Luigi and Peach looked surprised, but Mario asked him a question.

"And why should we?"

"Because…"

Suddenly, the power goes out, and the cameras are immediately shut down.

===TRANSMISSION ENDED===

* * *

Meanwhile, Morton, who escaped the scuffle, is in Kamek's laboratory.

"Kamek!"

"Yes, Master Morton?" Kamek acknowledged.

"Yes! You can see and hear me?!" Morton gasped.

"You are cursed, Master Morton. Apparently, this author hates you. I noticed because you broke the fourth wall, yet nothing bad happened. That happens when an author curses you, because you won't be able to speak with others."

"Yeah, but how do I fix this?" Morton groaned, "This is so annoying."

"Apparently the author hates you because you're the one of the last 4 spirits she needs in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate," Kamek shrugged, "So... She probably thinks you don't exist?"

"Why doesn't she just use the Vault Shop?" Morton shrugged.

One of Kamek's laboratory walls breaks, and a blue-shelled female koopa walks in. A glare implanted on her blue face, she approaches Morton and puts her hands on her hips.

"Alex..." Morton groaned, "Stop abusing me in this story!"

"Morton Koopa Junior. You will give me your spirit. NOW," Alex commanded, "I had to deal with Ayumi Tachibana and her summonables earlier. Let's just say you do NOT want to suffer her fate, but since you're such a great Koopaling, I'm giving you a chance!"

"Nope, nay, no can do creepy, abusive author," Morton declined.

"Fine," Alex shrugged, "Stay cursed then!"

As Alex steps out of Kamek's laboratory, Morton sighs before calling out to her.

"Wait! Come back!" Morton shouted, "Let's make a deal..."

* * *

**A/N: I really, REALLY hope Morton doesn't try to hunt me down, along with the others... I must hide now. But until next week, when we'll see if Morton becomes visible or not!**


	3. Episode 3 SPECIAL: Super Mario RPG

The power's still out all throughout the Mushroom Kingdom and Dark Land. Bowser, Mario, Luigi and Peach sit inside Bowser's castle, discussing Bowser's new offer for both him and the Koopalings to join in the cast for the show. After the state of shock due to the power going out, Bowser started up the conversation again.

"Remember that one time when I kidnapped Peach? We were thinking it was going to be a normal kidnapping episode, but boy were we wrong."

* * *

== FLASHBACK: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars==

Bowser runs with Peach over his shoulder, and Mario chasing him. Bowser kicks his castle doors open, heading towards the Battle Room. As he runs across the long, open hallway connecting the two separate castle buildings together, a giant sword slams into the hallway, blocking the way. Bowser, Mario and Peach stop before the large weapon.

"Hahaha! I am EXOR! Fear me, mortals!" the sword spoke.

"You're a freaking sword that fell tip-down!" Bowser observed.

"No duh, captain obvious!" Exor replied, "Anyway! My master, Smithy, wants me to claim this castle as his property! Therefore, you all have five seconds to leave! Or else!"

They all just stood there, challenging Exor's demand.

Exor somehow shrugs, "Then take this!"

A sudden blast of wind blows all around, blowing away peach and Bowser from the scene, while Mario barely escapes.

"I hope Peach is still safe!" Mario hoped, "It is time for me to chase after this Smithy &*($) and defeat him!"

* * *

The characters are still in Bowser's castle, and still in the dark from the current blackout.

"Oh wow, yes!" Mario nodded, "And I also remember the first time Exor tried to fall on the bridge!"

* * *

== FLASHBACK ==

As Mario, Peach and Bowser cross the bridge, they see a huge, decorated sword falling from the sky.

Mario thought it was just an obstacle Bowser put to prevent him from getting to Peach, but even Bowser looked shocked at this giant gilded weapon.

Seeing a giant sword falling is weird enough, but something even weirder happened: It spoke! While it was in the air!

"*Falling from sky* I am the great and terrible Exor! Fear m-Ughh…"

Instead of landing into the stony material contained in the bridge, Exor's tip misses sticking into the ground, and instead falls straight onto the floor.

Mario, Peach and Bowser stared with confused looks at the fallen sword, then Bowser continues running off with Peach, jumping over the sword. Mario chases after Bowser again.

"CUT!"

* * *

"Oh man, that was great! That sword surely was not the sharpest when it came to stick-it landings." Bowser replied.

"Yeah. And remember Mallow?" Mario questioned.

"Mallow? That one dude who thought he was a frog?" Bowser suggested.

"Yeah, I don't know why he thought that…"

"Because a frog found him floating in a basket when he was a baby." Bowser answered Mario.

"Oh yeah! He was the one who had a rip-off story version of Moses!" the red plumber remembered.

"Who in the Ultimate Heifer's name is Moses?"

"Oh, he is this character from a historical and religious book some humans read, called the Bible. He had the same story as Mallow as a baby." Mario answered.

"Bible." repeated Bowser, "Never heard of that book before."

_'Of course you haven't, Bowser,'_ Mario thought.

"Anyway, do you catch my drift, Mario? I helped out a ton, especially when we joined at Booster's tower."

Peach cried, "Oh my gosh! Booster's Tower! I remember that creep tried to force me into marrying him!"

* * *

== FLASHBACK ==

Peach is in a tower, depressed. All she remembers is falling from the sky, landing, and blacking out. Now she awakes in this weird place. Some weird, fat, ugly guy with some Viking-like horned helmet came up to her.

"I'm Booster!" the man declared.

Peach sighs, "Coolstorybro. I can't wait to go back to Mario!"

"Too bad! You are staying with me! And guess what?"

Peach sighs, "What?"

"You will marry me! HahahahhHSAFSIUHNSDVHJDBSA!" Booster laughed.

"Eeww! Gross!"

Booster starts marrying her on the spot. After a few minutes, he has Peach screaming out Mario's name.

"MARIO! MARIO! PLEASE SAVE ME!"

Just as Booster finished his vows, Mario crashed the wedding! Yes, that's a good thing this time!

"Leave Peach alone, &%$*&." Mario commanded.

Booster then starts crying, "…All I wanted is a wife!"

Mario and Peach leave as Booster continues crying and wailing about still being single.

"I wonder when my next bride will fall from the sky…" Booster sobbed.

Three snifits, who watched the scene the entire time, reply, "Never."

* * *

"That guy was nasty and desperate." Mario cringed.

Bowser laughs, "And marries girls that fall out of the sky."

"Shows that I am an angel! Hehe!" Peach giggled.

Mario nods, "No wonder why he wanted to marry you!"

"Hehe yeah! But no way! He's fat! And he has a lazy-eye!" Peach rejected.

Hearing the rejection, Lemmy cries out, "Hey! That offends me!"

"Shut up, Lemmy." Bowser commanded, "How did you get here anyway? You were in the throne room just a few minutes ago, with your siblings!"

"Plothole." Lemmy shrugged.

Bowser's six other children appear in the middle of the room with flashlights.

"Be right back, dad!" the seven stated.

The six Koopalings and Bowser Jr disappear and reappear two minutes later.

"We're back, Dad!"

"Dang plotholes! Hey, you, Alex! Quit putting plotholes into the story!"

**"Do NOT say my name! I'm not here!"** Alex commanded.

"Well quit putting plotholes in the story." Bowser growled.

**"BOWSER KOOPA! QUIT BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! NOW!"**

"Or what?!"

**"Or you face the wrath that one of your kids are facing!"**

"They're all right here, idiot!" Bowser rebutted.

**"Really now?"** Alex challenged, **"Here, I'll show you."**

* * *

Morton's walking outside in a public place, getting rid of his accumulated boredom. As he turns to walk down a less-busy road, he sees a robot there. He walks up to the robot, and the robot does a scan on him.

"Morton Koopa Junior. He's jealous of all his other siblings." The robot announced.

"What do they have that I need to be jealous about? I'm fine with who I am," Morton said, pretty annoyed.

"Really now? I see what you say about wanting to be like Ludwig!"

"Why would I wanna be him?!" Morton gagged, "Gross!"

"Morton Koopa Junior. He's the Empress of Narnia."

Morton now shakes his head in disgust, "I am NOT the empress of Narnia! Heck, I'm not the empress of anything! I'M NOT A GIRL!"

"Where's your lion, Empress?" the robot questioned.

"Shut up!"

"Morton Koopa Junior. He drinks alcohol."

"… Okay, now this is getting stupid. Why would I do that?! Alcohol's poisonous to koopas!"

"What was that? Twelve Happy Hour orders? Coming right up!" the robot stated.

"I DON'T DRINK!"

The robot continued, "Morton Koopa Junior. He gets tucked in bed every night by his sister Wendy."

"Dude, I don't support that stuff, sorry! I do NOT love my sister Wendy in that way!"

The robot then imitates a female voice, "Aww, is little Morty-poo sad? I'll read you a story!"

"I don't get read to!" Morton huffed, "Just shut up!"

"There you have it; Morton Koopa Junior is an alcoholic ruler of Narnia who's jealous of his siblings' independence!" The robot announces.

"NO! ALL OF THAT INFORMATION IS FALSE! FALSE, I TELL YOU! WHERE DID YOU GET ALL OF THAT INFORMATION YOU (%&^#^?! THE INTERNET LIES, NOTHING CAN BE TRUSTED ON THE INTERNET, THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF HOAXES YOU KNOW, LIKE-"

* * *

**"Thank goodness, the camera turned off right in time,"** Alex sighed with relief, **"Anyway, Bowser?"**

"Sorry! Geez! Freaking old hag!" Bowser apologized half-heartedly.

Alex gives him a sassy smile, **"Good, Bowsy. Stay good now!"**

As Alex walks off scene, Mario continues, "Anyway, I remember when-"

Ludwig's piano then appears on the spot, with all nine thrones appearing after it. The piano then starts playing by itself.

"This writer needs to grow up," Bowser sighed.

Mario groaned, "ANYWAY. I remember when I had to go to Moleville."

* * *

== FLASHBACK ==

Mario cruises down a strange road. After ten minutes of walking down this road, he comes across a decent-sized village. He sees several moles crying, and Mario decides to try to save the day by asking one of them why they all are crying.

"Mite Mole and Dyna Mole are gone! What will we do?!" a mole cried.

"Look for them, duh!" Mario suggested.

The mole starts to cry even harder and louder.

"Quit your crying! And okay, I will help you!" Mario offered.

After the mole thanked Mario for volunteering, the plumber ventures down into an old mine.

"What a unique name! "The Moleville Mines." Absolutely creative!" Mario stated sarcastically.

Mario goes down into the mine and explores the place. This mine was used to mine various valuables, such as diamonds, rubies, and even a part dedicated to everyday materials like iron, salt and coal.

"Was" is the keyword. Everything since has been exhausted. Instead, the mine turned more into a crooks' hideout throughout the years. The Moleville government did not bother closing it down formally.

As Mario keeps exploring his surroundings, seeing if he can find the two lost moles, he suddenly ran into some weird, mutant reptile.

"Hahaha! I am Croco!" the reptile declared.

The reptile, who revealed himself to be Croco, steals Mario's coins. Steaming mad, Mario chases Croco down the once-rich mines.

"Give those back you dumb alligator!"

"I'm a crocodile, ^&%$, not an alligator!" Croco refuted.

Mario caught up to Croco, beat the living heck out of him, and continued down the mine path. Mario then noticed the rocky walls are now blood-red.

"Still some iron-rich rocks. Maybe I am getting closer to finding them!"

Right as he said that, a weird thing pointed at Mario.

"I am Punchinello, and I will defeat you!" the thing said.

Punchinello tries to headbutt Mario, but he passed out right as he strikes, dropping a giant bob-omb.

"Okay… Weird- OH MY GOSH! That's a bob-omb!"

No duh, Sherlock. Anyway, the bomb exploded, revealing Dyna and Mite.

"We are saved!" the moles cried.

Without thanking Mario or even considering him, the two moles run out and went back to their villages.

"Unthankful ^%$&&*s!"

* * *

Peach nods, "Good memories."

"Yes, so what is your choice, Mario? We had a good past at one point. So, can I be on the show with my kids?"

Mario sighs, "…Okay, Bowser."

"Yes! Thank you!"

Bowser and the Koopalings start partying. Mario, Luigi and Peach then join in.

Suddenly, the lights turn back on.

"Yay! The lights turned back on!" Mario cheered.

I just stated that!

Peach ignores me before adding, "Let's do our next episode then: Super Mario Bros. 2!"

"Yeah!" Bowser fist-pumped.

Clawdia appears out of nowhere.

"BOWSER! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU, MISTER!"

Peach giggles, "Bowser has a wife?! Explains the kids I guess!"

Peach, Luigi and Mario begin laughing as the scene comes to a close.

"OH MY GOSH! SHUT UP!" Bowser commanded, "I HATE YOU AND YOUR PLOTHOLES, ALEX!"

* * *

**A/N: I really feel as if Bowser and the Koopas want to find me and leave me to die in some random alley. *Shudder* **


	4. Episode 4: Super Mario Bros 2

**A/N: Well, look who's back in civilization after 2 months of being off the grid! **

Episode 4: Super Mario Bros 2

"Well, should we go to Lavalava Island after this episode?" Peach asked.

"Sure!" Bowser answered, "I need to get these brats away from their video games anyway. Larry, order 13 plane tickets!" Bowser commanded.

"MAKE THAT 14!" a certain voice called out.

"Okay, Alex wants to come. Make it 14."

"Make it 15 please, son!" another voice called.

"OH HECK NO!" Bowser yelped, "KEEP IT AT 14!"

"Grr, Bowser, lemme at ya!" Clawdia seethed as she pounced towards Bowser.

"AHHHHHH!" Bowser screamed as Clawdia got a hold on him. Clawdia squeezes Bowser in a giant hug.

"Playin' hard to get!" Clawdia squealed as she suddenly disappears in the air.

"… Weird," Bowser commented.

Ignoring Clawdia, the Koopalings stare in horror at Bowser.

"I don't wanna go to Lavalava island! I wanna go home and stream Apex Legends to my Twitch followers!" Wendy cried.

"Yeah, Dad! I need to finish my Let's Play series on Breath of the Wild!" Iggy protested.

"And I have Spyro the Dragon fanart commissions I have to do for my donors!" Lemmy grumbled, "I'm already behind!"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Bowser roared, "The seven of you are 17, yet you do nothing but sit around and play video games! You don't even go on dates! When was the last time any of you had a girlfriend... Or boyfriend?"

"Uhh..." Roy thought.

"Exactly! All of you are useless! Go chat with some girls on Tinder or something. I have 7 of you... And Junior... yet I doubt I'll ever be getting grandchildren from any of you!"

"But Pops! Girls eat up too much time and money! I have Smash tourneys I need to compete in and win!" Roy protested.

"Then get a job, you pathetic leeches! What will you do in life to actually support yourselves?" Bowser roared.

Morton rolls his eyes, "Become YouTubers and make millions of dollars. Duh! I just hit 1 million subscribers last week."

Ludwig nods, "You do know, dear Father, that I have the potential to make a plethora of wealth for composing music for video games, correct?"

"Yeah, who wants to be at a crummy job like being a doctor or a policeman or anything like that? What a joke!" Larry added.

"Either way, you're going to Lavalava Island and that's final!"

"I'm excited, Pops," Roy grinned, "I can sit in the hot tubs while I play my Switch. I'll do my Smash tourneys, then race around as me on Mario Kart, then-"

"NO! No video games allowed!"

Bowser sighs as he facepalms.

"Fine. Here's my true thoughts on you pathetic brats," he stated, "Larry, I hate you and I wish you were never born. Morton, every night I have wonderful dreams about pouring concrete down your large mouth just to never hear you again. Wendy, I wish you were a boy, and a better son than these six degenerates. Iggy, you were dropped on the head as a baby. Roy, you were an accident and I used your egg as a football. Lemmy, you're the most useless person I've ever known, and you do nothing but take up space. And Ludwig, I wish you weren't partially deaf so you can hear how terrible your music is. There!"

The Koopalings give Bowser a blank stare before they all say, "You told me that at least six times before, Dad!"

"Just wanted to remind you all," Bowser smirked.

"… ANYWAY, let's get to the show," Mario said, "So... We have the koopas here."

The audience members boo. Bowser and the koopalings pull out their wands, resulting in the audience immediately converting their jeers into cheers.

"Umm, yeah, best to be nice to them. Beat em up after the show," Mario sighed, "Anyway. We have dug out some scenes gone wrong in the game of Super Mario Brothers 2."

"SMB2… One of the only non-spinoff games Peach actually plays in." Luigi stated.

"Hush or I will whack you with my umbrella."

"Okay, sheesh, violent girl. Let's just get this started please," Luigi complained, "Theme song!"

_Dalalala Dalalala Dalalala DalalaLA_

**Wendy:** Oh the Mario games are amazing!

But some of the cut clips are crazy!

Who would have thought

Those clips we forgot

Will someday come to useeeeeeee!

OH YEAH!

**All:** MARIO SCENES GONE WRONG!

**Wendy:** The show that shows bloopers, cuts and many flops!

**All:** OH, MARIO SCENES GONE WRONG!

**Ludwig:** Mario Scenes Gone Vrong!

**All:** NO! IT'S 'WRONG,' LUDWIG!

**Ludwig:** Geez, my accent's nothing big!

_Dalalala Dalalala Dalalala DalalaLA_

**Wendy:** YEAH!

**All:** YEAH!

**Wendy:** Alright y'all!

**All:** Alright!

**Wendy:** Let's do a roll call!

Mario! (Yep.)

Luigi! (Can this just end already?!)

Peach! (Get this ugly turtle away from me!)

Bowser! (Hey, Peachy :$)

Ludwig! (Ahh... Ze ivory keys...)

Lemmy! (I CAN BALANCE ON THREE BALLS AT ONCE!)

Roy! (I can pop three balls at once!)

Iggy! (Oh no you don't, Roy!)

Morton! (WHOA! YOU CAN SEE ME! YOU CAN HEAR ME! YOU CAN SENSE ME! YOU CAN FEEL ME! YOU CAN SMELL ME! YOU CAN TASTE-)

Larry! (You were gone, Morton?)

And I'm Wendy, your home girl, singing this song!

**All:** YEAH! OH! THIS IS MARIO SCENES GONEE WRONGGG!

The commercial starts with some suspense music, in a dimly lit room. A creepy voice then begins talking.

"Welcome to Dark Land, home to all the Koopa Troop. An evil force, named the Mushroom Kingdom, is, for the first time in history, on the offensive. Hundreds of Koopas are killed, wounded or trapped as prisoners of war. Just as the Koopa Kingdom begins to lose hope, an unlikely group of seven heroic Koopas emerge…"

The seven Koopalings pop out, looking as intimidating as they can. Lemmy trips on a pebble, resulting in him piling into Morton and Larry and knocking them down. All three lay on the floor, unconscious.

"Together, they vow to team up, to prevent the evil Mushroom Kingdom from advancing. We all know they lost everytime they attempted to conquer a land… But is this time an exception? Only the game can tell!"

Four toads walk in, and each one tries to attack a separate conscious Koopaling. The Koopalings, even Iggy, pummel each of the toads beyond recognition. They high-five each other as a thick stream of crimson liquid squirts from each of the toads' bodies. They dance around the bodies, but Iggy slips on the blood and falls into the massive puddle. He accidentally clotheslines Ludwig, bringing him down also. Both are knocked out in the blood.

"New features are now shown in this game! Any safe area will play suspense music, while dangerous areas will play happy, cheery music! Never seen before in any other game! So call now! M56-54-3568P for Mushroom Kingdom residents, and K917-119-8101412B for Dark Land residents! Call now!"

Only two koopalings remain conscious. Roy folds his arms and glares at the camera, while Wendy attempts to do a cartwheel, but lands on her neck and gets knocked out.

"Don't get the Koopalings mad, else they'll hunt you down to your house and slaughter you! I have this story about them. When I-"

"Aww, shaddap! Dis is about us! Want a knuckle sandwich, punk?!" Roy cracked his knuckles.

"Yeah! This announcer guy makes me want to invent a black hole! I'll grab him, tie him up, throw him in a pit of spiders and crush him into tiny dust with the black hole! Hahahahaha!" Iggy commented as he suddenly becomes conscious.

Wide-eyed, Roy steps away from Iggy before throwing the pebble Lemmy tripped on at him, knocking Iggy out again.

"Fine!" the voice complained, "Uhh... Do not settle for ordinary! Get Koopalings Switch today!"

"Buy it now, punk! Yeah you, in front of the TV! Buy our game or I'll hunt you down!" Roy threatened.

* * *

"Koopalings Switch… I actually liked that game… too bad it didn't release on Earth." Mario nodded.

"It had too much blood, apparently," Morton stated, "What kind of loser doesn't want blood in their games?"

"Little sheltered wimps," Roy stated.

"Well, yeah, but we were also mad after what happened with Color Splash, so Nintendo scrapped Koopalings Switch because they were offended," Larry explained.

Mario shrugged,"What was wrong with Color Splash?"

"Everything..." the seven koopalings groaned.

"It was still better than Sticker Star though!" Mario stated, "But that's not the game today. Today, we're doing Doki Doki Panic!"

"Please call it the real thing," Peach stated, "This is Super Mario Bros. 2! And here's our first clip!"

Super Mario Brothers 2

Peach sees a waterfall with floating logs. She quickly jumps across them, successfully crossing. She suddenly sees some flying freaky thing. It nearly runs into her.

"GRR, you..." Peach shouted.

Peach pulls up a random root, planning to throw it at the thing. She pulls up a crying vegetable.

"WWWWWAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Aww you poor little veggieboo. Let me put you back in the ground you-"

Suddenly, the vegetable kicks Peach in the face with one of its roots. It runs away from the scene.

Peach's face turned red.

"OH MY GOSH! THIS PLACE IS FULL OF ^&%^&!"

Director: CUT!

* * *

Mario, Luigi and the Koopas crack up at the clip, while Peach glares at the others.

"She's so defenseless even a vegetable can beat her! Hahahaha!" Bowser guffawed.

"I know right! Haha oh my gosh, blackmail! Haha!" Mario sneered.

"QUIET!" Peach commanded as she pulls out her umbrella, "OR I'LL USE THIS!"

The others slow their laughs before Mario states, "Hahaha... Next clip."

Super Mario Brothers 2

Mario, Luigi and Peach are racing each other to the top of a building-

* * *

"PAUSE! There is no such feature for SMB2!" Mario protested.

"Mario, shut up and let this clip play!" Luigi scolded, "Start it over!"

* * *

Mario, Luigi and Peach are racing each other to the top of a building.

"I bet I can beat you both!" Mario challenged.

Luigi smirks, "Oh yeah?"

Eventually, the Mario brothers reach a pit. They pause.

"Umm.. How do we get over?" Mario questioned.

Peach giggles, "Like this!"

Peach jumps, then floats to the other side of the cliff. She lands safely.

"Okay, let me try this!" Luigi said.

Luigi jumps, and flutter jumps to the other side of the cliff. He lands safely.

"Try it, Mario!" Luigi challenged, "Unless you're too scared!"

Mario backs away from the cliff, then dashes towards it and jumps. He tries to flutter jump, but Mario does it wrong, and completely misses the edge, falling down to the river below.

Luigi spins and takes off his hat, "LUIGI NUMBA 1!"

Peach also celebrates with blowing air kisses, "OOOOOH! Peachie's got it!"

Director: CUT!

* * *

"That was so rigged! You moved that cliff when I was backing away!" Mario protested at Luigi.

"Oh yeah, I move cliffs with spoken word. I totally do, Mario. Duh!"

"Knew it."

"He probably used GameShark," Larry stated.

"Or the Homebrew Channel," Morton added.

"Heck, maybe even Cheat Engine!" Iggy suggested.

"NONE of those existed in 1988! Now shut up!" Bowser roared, "Stars, help me with these kids..."

As Bowser laments, their phones all ring. They look at their phones and notice that the plane tickets are ready and were delivered by text message.

"Oh, would you look at that! It's Lavalava Time!" Peach squealed, "Let's end the show and go!"

"Right, right," Mario stated, "Next game is Super Mario Brothers 3!"

"AKA, the game that made these brats somewhat relevant," Bowser glared at the Koopalings, "Now get up! We have a vacation to go to!"


End file.
